2 black eyes in church

TWO BLACK-EYES (IN CHURCH)..... Once I went to work on a Monday morning with TWO BLACK-EYES ! ! It was very embarrassing to let anyone see me in that condition. All of my co-workers were (understandably) QUITE CURIOUS. " Hey.... what in the WORLD happened to YOU, man ? " That's all I heard all morning long from anyone ! ! Finally.... I decided to give them all the vivid and MORBID details..... " It was the darndest thing ! I was at church yesterday, and this fat lady, who was sitting right in front of me, stood-up for the singing of the closing hymn. Well.... you know how a dress can, sometimes, get stuck in the butt-crack of a fat lady ? I gotta tell ya.... it looked too funny. I figured she probably wouldn't like looking that way.... so I just reached-over and pulled it out with a little ' TUG. ' The next thing I know.... she spins around and ( BAM ) punches me in the eye ! ! " One of my co-workers said, " Hey.... do you mean you got TWO black-eyes from just ONE PUNCH ?? " I said, " Well.... no.... but, after she had turned back around and started singing the hymn again.... I figured she was just angry because I had pulled her dress out of her butt-crack.... so I decided to try and be a ' nice guy ' and POKE IT BACK IN..... BAD CHOICE ! ! ! I don't remember much of what happened after that.... but, I've been told that it was A PRETTY PITIFUL SIGHT TO BEHOLD Tweet