Re: Shattered Heart. Need advice

I am so sorry to read of your terrible grief and your subject title asked for "advice."  I cannot offer you any advice or answers as to whether you "should" or "shouldn't" do anything or whether the woman in question did the "right" thing or not.  And, you cannot know what is the "right" thing for her do decide, either.  Only she can make decisions for herself and her children, regardless of whether those decisions are "good" or "bad." 

Have you ever met her husband?  Have her sons described abusive behaviors?  He forced her to have 2 abortions?  There sounds like a lot of drama/trauma going on, here, and you are NOT responsible for any of it.  You are not responsible for anyone else other than yourself and your own child, and you literally do not have the power or control to "save" or "rescue" anyone, even if it is done out of what you perceive to be "love." 

It may be a very wise option to use this time for yourself and to sort out your own life, first, before entering into any committed relationship.  You have your own child to consider and that child's needs must be met first because s/he does not have the capability to see to his/her own needs.  Then, your recovery and healing needs to be primary after seeing to your child's needs. 

If you don't sort out why you chose this particular type of partner, you will continue choosing the same type, again, and again, and they will seek you out to exploit your precious vulnerabilities, even if it isn't intentional.  Your will spend the rest of your life with a shattered heart and always searching for someone else to piece it back together for you.  Nobody can do that.  Only time and your own efforts will mend your broken heart - depending upon someone else to fill the voids in our lives only leads to catastrophe, and I type this from personal experience.

Best wishes to you.