my life makes me wanna run away

hello everybody. I'm desperate, depressed and sick of life. Thoughts of ending all this ''hunt'' me, but i don't really want to do it. But how come? When i look back, i remember such comments and expressions about something smelly in school for example. But i never connected them to me, until my new friends were always asking if i had farted or stepped in dog sht. Sometimes they asked if i take showers or know a thing thats called soap. From then life became hell to me. And thats not enough. I also have bad breath. I just can't understand this. Another thing thats bothering me is the fact that i have nobody to whom i can talk about this. I'm wondering how some people found a partner here. I can't talk to women because i always got my bad odor and breath in mind. Why should someone love me, a person that smells like feces with bad breath. But i really would like to have someone in my life that loves me how i am. I also came here with the hope to talk to persons that suffer the same and understand my misery.