need advise--trying not to get lymphedama

please read and comment and answer questions in red if you can

need advise--trying not to get lymphedema and I have little support from anyone on why I do not want chemo etc and what I am trying to do. Everyone thinks I am nuts maybe even me for trading good odds of medical route for the unknowns of alterative health.

I was diagnosed about a week ago with stage 2 aggressive breast cancer grade 8/9 it is estrogen and progesterone negative and awaiting results of the her2 status. They say it is size of tennis ball about 2.5 cm but to me it feels almost twice that size not sure why.

I am leaning strongly to not doing traditional treatments other than lumpectomy as I do not see benefits in choosing mastectomy which is very hard for me to do over lumpectomy since I am 98% convinced I will not do chemo as too toxic and cannot risk side effect of permanent cognitive decline/memory along with other serious side effects both during treatment and long term.

So I feel if I can't /won't take the supposed good odds of 85% (maybe 75% if I have either triple negative or her2 positive which I will have one of them so my odds with treatment are said to be about 75% of living 5 years) so  why does it much matter if I do mastectomy or lumpectomy. If they get clear margins and saw nothing on the ultrasound and mammograms then will it really make that much difference.

19 years ago I had 2nd recurrence of another breast cancer that was slower growing, I did lumpectomies with radiation and so she said chemo is to mop up loose cells systemically like radiation was to mop up loose cells locally within the breast, I am hoping the alternate health routine will be able to fill in for the radiation or chemo's job of getting any loose cells after the tumor is removed.

But it just is too dangerous and difficult to do the full doctor protocol, so praying an alternative health program of intensity (or at least what I can afford on my extremely low poverty income) will save me.

The cancer is also near the nipple and I don't want to see if coming as a lump protruding greatly from the breast like Dr Lorraine Day's so I do definitely want the main cancer cut out. but not the lymph nodes and that is the problem.

My problem is this Dr I saw is sort of inflexible and when I said I do not want my lymph nodes removed she isn't going to agree I do not think.

I am at a greater risk of developing lymphedema due to my weight. and it is the hand I do everything with

Finally today she agreed to do the lumpectomy even though she recommended mastectomy with chemo but will not do it without checking lymph nodes and removing three of them she said in an email today.

I would at most allow one to be checked unless she can maybe do a fine needle aspiration. I just saw that seems to be possible. Do they still do these? Not sure why she did not suggest it when she knows I was very adverse to taking out lymph nodes.

Since I am doing an alternative health program and essentially staking my life on it with the lumpectomy, I must have my lymph nodes to have an well immune system. I just saw in Dr Schulze's videos that if one has lymph nodes removed, you cannot get better naturally and that scares me as I am not one to use the doctor except rarely for health concerns but this is the worst I have had. I need to be able to do and count on alternative health and not impair my immune system.

They of course don't understand this and think alternative health is not enough and the doctor went so far as to say that lymphedema does not cause pain or weakness when her own handout to me in the packet she gave me and all the websites I saw said it does and bad pain too so I don't trust her and am seeking another doctor and just got referrals to two but not sure yet when they will get me in.

I am not so sure I can find a doctor who will do just a lumpectomy and no or one lymph node removal. This may be impossible to find and insurance is not going to let me search all over trying to find this doctor who will do what I want. I would be willing to do a needle biopsy without removal of the nodes but she never mentioned that being a possibility.

She said that she does not do this biopsy in advance but when you are under anesthesia and if it is cancer there, she would remove 20 of about 30 lymph nodes and recommends them also taking off the other noncancerous breast. for all I know she will make me sign a paper to that effect or she won't do the surgery,  Who knows?

I am not down with that. I want to be awake and know what findings are and think about it before I decide what to do. I just hope I can find another more open to want I want doctor but who knows.

Does anyone know if a fin needle biopsy into the lymph nodes can trigger lymphedema

Due to a number of car accidents and torn meniscus and ligament, painful neuropathy, parasthesia and 4 herniated disco I cannot get off the floor unless I can put a lot of weight on both arms to push off the floor when doing housework etc I fear if I get this lymphedema I will not be able to get off the floor as this had happened when I could not use my arm.

It also looks horrible and is said to cause weakness which would also affect me since it is left side and I am left handed.

If I cannot find a doctor to do what I want (either fine needle aspiration biopsy before surgery with results of it cancer is found) or no checking or at most one by removal, should I not do it due to risks to immune system and afflicting if alternative health will work and risk of lymphedema which I do not want, should I not get a lumpectomy either. I feel that risk is probably worst but I just cannot bring myself to allow them to remove lymph nodes. If they insist I may do one if not much risk of getting lymphedema but they don't give you any info on this.

I feel without lumpectomy I am risking my life and that removal of the main tumor will give me time to try to figure it out. I have no idea how fast it is growing or how long I might have till spread or death..noone would or would tell me anything,

I know she is not the doctor for me unless none else will do lumpectomy which she will at least do that if the other doctors seem a better fit, and will do lumpectomy and hopefully fine needle aspiration instead of removal or at least just take out one.

I will go with them instead of her,  even though some said they could barely see their scars and she may be a good surgeon but I did not like her for several reasons.

But on the other hand I feel like I am racing the clock to make division as the next doubling will take me to the next stage with even lower survival 505 for most grades but maybe 40% for me (that is if and only if I do everything doctors say which I know I will).

How bad and painful is lymphedema and am I right or wrong in trying so hard to avoid it.

Please give me your opinion on all this and answer my questions in red if you know

thanks you