Desperately Sick.. benzos.

Hey.

So I don't know what to do. Ever since I've gone up to 15mg, I've been getting sicker and sicker and sicker.. with a few windows of a day or hours where I feel like things may be getting better, only to be replaced with hell again.

It's been roughly 3 months.

Current symptoms:
-Severe chemical sensitivities
-gut pain/nausea
-dizziness
-scarey memory problems
-muscle rigidity
-severe anxiety and inability to talk
-hallucinations? not really sure, everything feels so unreal and distorted
-muscle weakness
-cognitive fog
-flu ish symptoms
-nothing feels connected, not my life, time, experiences, it's so messsed up and bizarre.

During these 3 months there were 3 cuts attempted. One was 5%, I stayed at the lower dose a week, and then the wd got too overwhelming and I went back to 15mg... next was roughly 3%... and same deal as previous cut, and then finally a 1.5% cut, same thing.

I'm sitting at 15mg... every day is different... and the worst is the chem sensitivity. Some clothes I can wear and feel ok, but if I wear something intolerable, I go into a deep brainfog, get anxious and immediately get weaker... I had some tolerable shirts I was wearing before, they got washed in a toxic ammonia solution for smell, and now they trigger symptoms... needless to say, I'm doing my own laundry now.

Still going to school, working full time, but this is getting tougher and tougher, especially because there seems to be no getting better here.

What do I do? I can't live like this for much longer. Tweet