Virginity loss - from consensual to rape.

Well, I was 16 when it happened. It was with my best friend's uncle. Early in 2002, Nate's parents divorced and he stayed with his father and moved to a house near mine. That summer, Nate's uncle Carl came visiting. He was around his 30's and, at first, I found him incredibly good looking. His face was very young and attractive, though his hair was starting to go grayish. As soon as I met him, I could not stop fantasizing about him. So, When Nate took a trip to London to visit his mother, I kept making excuses to go to Nate's house to be around Carl. One day, I went to Nate's house and Carl answered the door. I got nervous immediately and made up some crappy story about having to pick up some stuff at Nate's room. Carl let me in and told me he was alone, 'cos Nate's father was also out, on a business trip. After I grabbed a book from Nate's room, I went downstairs and saw Carl drinking beers at the pool. He noticed me and got back in, offering me a beer. I said I wasn't a fan of beer and he laughed, saying that he had plenty of other things in the fridge for a non-beer fan. I just blushed and looked down. He got me a bottle of a drink that reminded me of kool-aid with vodka. We toasted and I emptied the bottle very quickly which made him laugh very hard and put a lascivious look on his face. I couldn't bare to look at him in the eye and he knew I was uncomfortable, so he gave me another bottle and asked me if I wanted to hang out by the pool. I said yes and we just sat outside and he started asking me about my life, my interests and stuff. I though it was weird and exciting at the same time, specially 'cos all the time, he had this almost dirty look on his face. The conversation went fine until the point he started asking me about girls... I said I didn't have much experience with them and he then asked about boys. At this point, I freaked out and blushed even more, looked the other way and stopped talking. He then, pushed my chair closer to his, held my face and said I should not worry, 'cos he knew what I wanted and he would take care of me. Before I knew it, he was kissing me and I could not resist it. He grabbed me and we went on kissing all the way into his bedroom. He tossed me on the bed and jumped on the top of me, and I could not believe that it was going to happen, for real, right there. I was so scared and nervous.. I had no idea of what to do and everything was happening so fast... He ripped my clothes off and went down on me. I started panting and all sorts of crazy things went through my head... and then, things got pretty odd and rough all of a sudden. He just stopped, got up, got a condom and lube out of a bag, sat on his knees, on the bed, and said that I was going to get what all faggs wanted. I got so shocked and scared by his remark that I just froze. He put on the condom, put lube all over it, bent over me, spread my legs apart, pushed them against my chest and slammed his penis inside me.
It was so painful that I just screamed out. I tried to push him away, but he pinned me down in away that I couldn't move. He told me to shut up 'cos he was giving me what I wanted and that I had to take it like a man. I told him it was hurting too much and begged him to stop, but he kept on going harder and I realized I was sobbing. When he finished, he got up and I saw the blood on his condom and he kinda smirked and said he had popped my cherry really fine. He went to take a shower and said that afterwards, I was going to get some more of that. As soon as I heard the water running, I got up, grabbed my clothes and ran downstairs, out to the backyard, where I got dressed. I ran home and was glad that my mom wasn't there. I went straight into the bathroom, feeling the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life, and was so afraid of being hurt really badly because I was bleeding a lot in the shower. After a while, the bleeding had decreased. I went to my room, put a towel in my underwear and went to bed. I kept having bleeds over the next 4 days and washed the bloody towels during the night to hide them from my mother. I was so distraught by the incident that I had symptoms of fever, nausea and weakness for several days, but of course, I refused to go seeing a doctor and convinced my mom it was the flu. Also, I was worried that Carl would come after me, so I did not leave the house for a couple of weeks. When Nate returned, he told me his uncle had shortened his visit and returned to Canada, just 2 days after the incident. A couple o months later, I told Nate what had happened, but never revealed who it was. I don't have to say that I got extremely traumatized by this event, and refused to have any kind of sexual activity until I was 20 years old, when I met my first boyfriend, Michael, who was kind and patient enough to understand and wait until I was ready. I'm 28 years old now, got a lovely boyfriend who makes me very happy and wants to marry me. I'm really glad that I was able to deal with my past and move on. Tweet