In light of our personal relationship and my not-so-distant-past-knowledge of some of your medical/personal issues (that you have not shared/included, but I discern may be integral), I just want to do my best to validate my concerns for your personal & medical privacy and ensure the same for you...so I think it's best to disqualify myself and this forum from replying and/or posting.
I'm holding & giving this situation to the #1 rule - first physician, do no harm.