The Silent Liars: 7 Ways to Spot a Pathological Liar

 

 

 

"No one believes a liar. Even when she's telling the truth.”
― Sara Shepard, Heartless

I just read an article about a woman who was duped out of hundreds of thousands of dollars by a man she met on a popular dating site. It's very sad. The woman wired this money to an account in Turkey, where authorities arrested an associate of the man who swindled this woman, so I'm hoping justice will be served. We live in a day and time where LIARS and LIES are rampant. But I've found that where TRUTH is spoken, LIARS are often left SPEECHLESS and EXPOSED!

7 Steps to Spot a Pathological Liar and Tips on Dealing with Them! http://www.wikihow.com/Spot-a-Pathological-Liar

1 Understand what a pathological liar is. Basically, a pathological liar is someone who tells lies habitually, chronically and compulsively. It has simply become a way of life for this person, to make up things for a variety of reasons and eventually, the truth becomes uncomfortable while weaving whoppers feels right to them.

 

2 Determine whether the person’s details and information comes across as consistent every time they tell a story

 

• Recall the frequency of the lies. Pathological liars will lie consistently, which is one thing you can count on––they will lie all the time.

 

3 Compare stories with mutual friends of both you and the person you suspect of being a pathological liar, to determine if the story has changed or reshaped to accommodate certain personalities. Certain details may be morphed to create drama or draw attention to the liar.

 

4 Consider whether the person is lying to gain attention. Part of the reason the pathological liar feels compelled to lie is because he or she may feel as though being in the spotlight has eluded them. This person feels that he or she should be the center of everyone’s universe and will do what he or she can to make it happen.

 

5 Look to whether the person has an addiction or secret habits that are potentially harmful.

 

6 Examine the person’s reaction when they're busted in a lie. The worst thing that can happen to a pathological liar is to be busted for telling the lie.

• Extreme defensiveness. Expect the person to become extremely defensive, doing whatever he or she can to pin blame on someone else.
• Quickly fabricating another lie to cover up the original fib. The pathological liar will start the cover-up process quickly to ensure that their reputation remains in tact. This may include a bigger lie than the original fib––which may be quite apparent.
• Vindictive and may seek revenge. Rage and anger may be another reaction stemming from being “outed”, so expect possible retaliation or vindictive behavior. Alternatively, they may feel upset that they have been caught in the act by someone who cares for them and have a tearful meltdown.

7 Determine if the person lives in reality. The pathological liar is one who typically does not live in reality and has trouble maintaining any consistency in his or her life.

Tips For Dealing with a Pathological LIAR:

• Understand that you’ll never get a consistent story when you talk with a pathological liar.
• Keep in mind that pathological liars typically exaggerate everything they tell you so take their stories with a grain of salt.
• An individual who lies habitually will generally lose the ability to differentiate lies from reality. He or she will believe the lies to be the truth - making confronting a pathological liar on their lies nearly impossible.
• "Mythomaniac", "compulsive liar", "habitual liar" or "chronic liar" are other names used for a pathological liar.
• Someone who consistently lies to you is a form of disrespect––not someone you want to trust or consider to be a true friend.
• As a former pathological liar, it becomes very difficult to control. Most responses are quick and reflexive, although mostly fabricated. Even compulsive liars have tells that give the lie away, get your friends to ask the liar a number of test questions to discern their tell. Then call the liar out every time he's caught in a lie. Eventually the liar may start calling out his own lies right after he tells them. Remember these people generally have low self esteem, so if they're caught in a lie a few times then it will deter them from lying.
• If you care about the person, remind them often that they don't have to pretend to be perfect. Point out a few of your own awesome screw ups and failures in life.
• Most successful people know how to make their lies work throughout their lives. Every day they begin with a new lie and eventually their lies kill their conscience and life becomes a dream.
• Try not to completely ignore or 'unfriend' a chronic liar, their problem is just liked any other, and it can become very lonely not having any friends, and even lead to anxiety, and depression.

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