Who needs a mate ? OT, vital info for some

Who needs a mate , when you have a "smartphone ?" I mean, look at people using those things, they stare at them in a gaze as if in love, gently caressing the tiny little screen in similar fashion to how I gently caress my lover's legs, brush brush brush, soothing.... mmmmmm, oh baby.

"Smartphones" make perfect mates for many, just a monthly fee and you can put it in your pocket, purse etc. They're a subliminal substitute for something real , and some of them even vibrate. Imagine the sales increase if Apple offered to give a case of AAA batteries with each gadget they sell, wow what a concept