Ashamed of my actions. Am I disgusting?

Ever since the age of 14 or 15 I had an attraction to womens panties. I never wanted to wear them or anything, but i got kind of aroused when i saw them.

One summer i was invited for a week to hang out at a friends place with him and his girlfriend. Long story short, one night when left alone i used her panties to beat off. I did it a few times that week. Maybe three.

This second experience could have been before or after, i could have been 17 going on 18 years old. I snuck into a local pool at night and found a bag of lost clothes. Out of it i got a girls swimsuit. Looking back it was definitely a childs.

I did the same thing with it, but afterwards was disgusted and discarded it. I'm not attracted to children, im just attracted to swimsuits/panties and enjoy the feel of the cloth on me.

Still, i feel sick.


Anytime i am enjoying anything or I'm socializing with friends, i feel guilty in the back of my head. Like I'm not a normal person, but a sick f*** who feels its okay to invade privacy like that.

Whenever i think of myself as a person, those two actions always come to mind and define me. I feel like i can never be a normal adult because i did such a depraved thing as a teenager. And I was a late teenager too, i should have known better.

I needed to get it this off my chest somehow. I feel incredibly embarrassed and ashamed of my actions.


Am I a bad person? Tweet