Day 17~~

Feeling good....
left ear clogged up for a bit...
mucus??
Im talking about for 4-5 min..

Went boxing day shopping to a store.. knew what I wanted....

I am feeling extra cold!
so. under the covers!
:)

I have nothing happening detox wise that I can feel....

Lots of emotional stuff coming up... no more covering up the layers of my core..
I feel stripped naked with no food to numb me,,

I understand now how I messed up my life with my ex.
Lots of tears and regrets.

I wrote a letter to him..
Told him I wanted him back..

We have been friends all these years.. its been 7 years.. we have a 12 year old...

I did not get the reply I wanted....
But it was not nasty or anything,...

Just not want I wanted...

:(

I accept it...
But the hopeless romantic in me still has hope....

Im backing off...
He knows how I feel
I am happy its out there....

I have felt this way for months.. this is not sudden.

But I was totally bursting to tell him.
He came over for a bit... dropped off my kid, stayed while we opened presents .. I gave him a hug god bye and just fought to hold back tears,,,,,