You are not crazy for posting how you feel..so do not worry about it..for most of us, I can say this, we too felt the same way.
Did the deowrmer cause the scattering. I made a mistake.
I ruined my life. I am freaking out. I want to jump out the window, I cannot take it anymore! I want a quick fix!
All these are normal feelings...as you get the masses down, you too, will feel better. it takes a very long time.