Re: Raped and abused

Lance590, I am sorry that you had those experiences.  Events and episodes like that can destroy a human being's psyche for the rest of their lives unless they make the choice to get help to process the experiences and heal from them.

The aftermath of the types of events that you described can only be addressed and managed by working with a trained professional that "gets it."  We do not have the ability to process such experiences and managed the triggers, on our own.  We simply don't.  So, once we can say it out loud or write it on a piece of paper, we are "aware" of the source of many of our personal issues. 

To find a counselor that "gets it," one can simply call their local domestic/family violence hotline and ask for a list of names of professionals that specialize in family violence/abuse, rape survival, PSTD, and "Stockholm Syndrome."  The person answering the phone will not stand in judgement, nor will they try to provide counseling over the phone.  They will give you a list of names and numbers, and hear your experiences to determine who the best counselor might be for you to work with.  Most of these counselors provide their services at a greatly reduced rate, or free-of-charge.  Having said that, it is very important for you to understand that the healing process is not simple, easy, or painless.  There is a lot of emotional purging that has to occur, and it's not pleasant.  But, once that purge has begun, it's like shedding skin and allowing warm sunlight onto ourselves.

You now have a choice of two possible actions.  1)  Do something to process these experiences and heal yourself, or 2)  do nothing and allow those experiences and that person to define who you are for the rest of your life.  That's it. 

As an aside, and not to be interpreted as a snide question, but where were your parents in all of this?  This was clearly a dysfunctional situation, but was there some sort of other family abuse going on?  You don't need to answer that question on this board - save it for your counselor.  It's just something to consider that, when we are raised in an environment that is lacking of safety, security, acceptance, and approval, we tend to tolerate things (even, and most certainly, into adulthood) that are beyond abusive. 

To find your local domestic/family abuse hotline, visit www.ndvh.org.  Also, you may want to contact your local rape hotline.  It doesn't matter if these things happened many years ago, Lance590.  PSTD often takes years to develop, and personal issues as a result of rape often develop over a period of time.  The crimes and abuses that you experienced (and, the subsequent damages) can be lifelong if you choose to "deal with it" on your own. 

Brightest blessings to you