Just when I thought I had the bo under control, I had a long hot week with awful comments. Little back-story...I have a grad degree I haven't worked under in almost 10 years because of the odor. I was forced out of my job by an NPD boss. He promised me the highest position I could have in the system and then made my life hell when I promised to stay (and could no longer interview w other companies bc of contract dates). So I got bounced out.
I am nearly homeless and can barely afford the f*cked up car I bought after my last one literally fell apart. There is no real public transit here so I needed the car to work. The only job I have been able to keep for more than a month pays less than 1/3 I should be paid for just what I should earn under my first degree. I should have a house, kids, a business of my own by now if I was working under my grad degree. Anyway...
So I have to take abuse at work. Like all of us, I have no choice. This week I had the owner of the company tell me to my face I stink. Then I had a co-worker walk away from me in the middle of an important conversation. I am doing everything (and have tried nearly everything) I possibly can. FODMAPs diet, vitamins, spirulina, special soaps and powders. I thought I had this nearly under control. I felt secure going to work for a few weeks....and then the boss's comment. Then my client opened doors and windows saying "it will smell bad in here if I don't" she didn't think I heard. Well tonight I had another client ask me to open all the windows again because it smelled bad & stale in here. She must have repeated it like 10 times and made comments about brushing teeth. So I suppose my breath now stinks on top of everything else. I am past tears really. I work this demeaning job that I will probably lose as well....and I am getting abused left & right there. As if I don't have the sense to shower before work. I was on shower #2 between my shifts btw.
I would just drive off the road if I had my way. Hit a tree and welcome the next world. But I have a man that really loves me for once and I could never hurt him that way.
Guess it is back to the drawing board tomorrow and back to humiliation again. Where does the nightmare end?