Struggling

It happened by somewhat of acquainted person I met, almost 4 years ago. I am still struggling, 3 therapists/counselors, anti depressants, and psuedo seizures. I can't seem to get a hold of my PTSD, the panic attacks, the fear of crowds/people, the nightmares/flashbacks are becoming more and more frequent. I don't know what to do.

I was raped while I was pregnant and I mean very pregnant, I was due Feb 16 and was raped on Superbowl Sunday that year. I had gone over after the game to hang out. I wish I had listened to my instints that were telling me that wasn't such a good idea.

I always thought IF I were ever raped I would fight back. However I didn't, I froze during it all, I just laid there. I asked him to stop twice, and he ignored me. I was crying the entire time, praying that he wouldn't hurt my unborn son. The entire time he was raping me he kept saying how much he loved me. (We were never in any sort of romantic nor friends with benefits relationship prior. I had only known him for a few months). When I got up to leave he aggressively grabbed my arm and pulled me to back onto the bed. I was terrified so I did what he said. I left he walked me to my car as if nothing had happened.

I wasn't really sure what happened. It was all surreal like I was experiencing a lucid dream. I didn't really think about it till a year later. I was busy with being a new young single mother. Now almost 4 years later I am still struggling more so than that first year. Is this ever going to get better? Is it ever going to go away? What else can I do? I feel so helpless.