Still Learning! LMAO!!!

Right - I'm beginning to get better at this with every exposure to NPD that I experience.  Perhaps, I'll finally get to the point in my life when I can slam the EFFING door, without malice, upon anyone that exhibits behaviors that may become an emotional danger to me.  And, this time around, it's become comical to me, even though I fell into the same stinking narcissistic trap with my eyes wide open and my gut telling me, "Watch out, this is over the top!  Watch out!"  I have to laugh because I am the only one to blame for this experience!

So, this is how it started:  I returned to the studio where I'd worked before and began to get to know some of the new people that had arrived a few months before I returned.  One, in particular, was over-the-top friendly - very solicitous of my "advice" or opinions, and was always very, very complimentary (flattering, on hindsight) of my work.  At some point, this person began to wheedle her way into The Scene by little acts of "fun" and kindness.  Fun being involving herself in placing stickers on people's shelves and toolboxes, jokes, etc., and kindnesses by way of sharing lunches, purchasing little things, and handing out little "favors," knowing (because I had TOLD her!!!) that I was constantly broke. 

This person worked her way  into the studio through me, and I allowed it.  She has attempted to mark the studio as her own territory through kindess and persuasion.  When neither of these techniques were effective, she simply bulldozed her way through.

The pieces all finally fell into place the other night when I was attempting to educate her on how to best promote the studio and the fellow artists that would be attending a craft show under the studio's banner - as a GROUP.  I told her that I didn't want to see a cheaply priced piece of work, and she flew into an incredibly defensive posture and told me that I had no business telling her how to price her work.  Well, in most circumstances, she would have been right, but this was about the group, not her, and she actually walked away from me when I was trying to explain why underpricing her work would not only reflect badly upon the studio, but devalue her colleagues, as well - if she wanted to price her work to sell, then she needed to do it in her own space, not the studio's.

Next day, I had given some thought as to my telling this person what she could and couldn't do, and I tried to apologize to her for having said that - NOT for having set forth show guidelines, but for having tried to tell her what she could and couldn't do.  I was dismissed as she needed to go do something else.  Later, I tried to apologize, AGAIN!  Once again, I was duly dismissed.  Finally, during a meeting that I had arranged to discuss the craft show guidelines, I announced my apology to her in front of everyone, and promptly told everyone present that I would not be organizing any future events because this upcoming show had ceased being a studio event and had, instead, dissolved into individual shows, and walked out of the studio.

The next day, this woman called and said (and, I quote), "If I did anything to offend you, I am truly sorry."  I responded with, "Do you believe that you did something to offend me?"  After a very long pause, her answer was a single word, "Maybe."  I then said, "Well, either you did or you didn't, and I'm not going to lead you either way.  So, what's up?"  It ended after that and I found whatever information it was that she needed. 

Maybe.  That single word response was all that I needed to confirm that this woman had a serious agenda, all along.  I gave her name to the Director, months ago, as a candidate to be hired to fill an open position in the studio, and since that time this person has attempted to make the studio into an all-inclusive and Romper Room environment - no angst, no dissention, and no "negativity" is allowed by this person.  She has effectively taken over the studio environment as her own and has even attempted to worm her way into other people's private studios by saying, "We HAVE to get your studio set up!  I'll help you!  When can we start?!" 

So, what's the moral of this story?  NOTHING other than this:  even with the information that I have learned in the past 26 years, I can still fall victim to NPD's with an agenda.  BOUDNARIES is the operative word.  BOUNDARIES!!!!!!!  If I had to provide a time-line, I would say to give someone a full year before giving them ANY personal information, at all.  Even then, use extreme caution, especially if there seems to be an overabundance of kindness combined with a constant sense of walking on eggshells.  I have to laugh, now, because I allowed this person into my life and I did so when my gut was screaming at me to use caution.  Oh, well - at least I didn't give this person more than I did!  LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL  Now, I'm backing off and I don't even care if I appear to be mean to anyone.

Brightest blessings, and let's all high-five one another for continuing to learn and grow!  LMAO!!!!