Whoa! :::insert simon & garfunkel here::: "Slow down, ya move too fast"
Now dontchathink maybe this why you're having that "fear thing"...you shouldn't be seeing ANY practitioner of ANY kind until you've gotten references and checked them out...and your body/mind knows it!
I'm about 3/4 finished with your post now. I think you'll be MUCH more successful if you'll slow down and give yourself the time it takes to develop a solid plan. From where I'm sitting you've got LOTS to decide before jumping in with both feet :)