Re: HELP! Living with someone who suffers from codependency!!

Did you know your girlfriend while she was still with the abusive, alcoholic ex or did you meet her after the relationship ended?  The reason that I ask this is because I'm interested in the source of the information about the abuse and alcoholism.  If you know her ex, then it speaks for itself.  But, given your description of her behaviors, I have a suspicion that the information came from her and that you didn't know her or her ex until you began dating.

Her behaviors don't sound like a co-dependent.  She sounds as if she has serious control issues and, perhaps, other issues, as well.  Of course, I'm not qualified to provide ANY type of assessment, but if you're uncomfortable in this relationship, it may be a good idea to consider just what it is that you "love" about this woman.  Do you love walking around on eggshells?  Do you love enduring criticism and belittling?  Do you love being nagged about your own adult choices?  What, precisely, do you "love" about this woman?

This is my personal take on anything that isn't a legal, contractual committment (marriage).  I will not remain in a situation with someone if I am not happy in my own skin.  I don't need companionship THAT bad to put up with bad behavior and terrible treatment.  This goes for friends and family, as well. 

Best wishes to you.