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I went to group therapy where two men agreed to share their experiences re: women/comittment etc. One man we'll call him Mr. X shared how he enjoyed ball room dancing - was getting good at it and wanted to do more of it. Also shared how difficult it was to find a good dance partner and that any relationship with a dance partner mirrored a romantic relationship with a woman - ie he sees her everyday to practice dancing and there is a lot of suggestive physical contact. All fair enough so fair. Thing is, then he begins to complain about how these women dance with him and then begin to get seductive with him. And joked about how one woman text messaged him that she'd be late because she was putting on her pants. Now I'm thinking not so nice - invite women to dance/have physical contact and then get annoyed when they become - well aroused.

Because he then complains that women should not come on to him it's agressive and he'd like to find women that would not - well touch him and try to seduce him etc.

So I'm thinking - at this point - well maybe ballroom dancing isn't really the hobby for you. Like you can't have your cake and eat it to. How nice is it to invite women to dance seductive dance moves with you and then basically suggest that they are loose??

Am I the only one who sees it this way??

I suppressed the impulse to blurt this question out to him and now I kinda regret it - and am obsessed with him (a guy I met for one hour or so) and the whole situation. I know kinda pathetic on my part.

Now I realize from reading these boards - my thinking is like this -
if I had asked him something like this - what makes you return to ballroom dancing if your uncomfortable with the seductive part???
that he would have been eternally grateful to me for helping him solve his problem and he would think me lovely and wise and want to spend his life with me and we'd live happily ever after.

But now I'm wondering isn't this just like another form of codepency on my part - me wanting to fix another man???
Thank you for making time to read my ramblings!! Much appreciated!!


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