please help me!!

I started a Water Fast last week and broke it after two days. I just woke up on the third day and the first thing I thought of was food, so I went into the kitchen and ate anything and everything (and continued to do so all day).

I get so frustrated with myself. I usually don't even want to eat the food after I get started, it's just that I CAN'T STOP. I actually get sick to my stomach and make myself feel terrible, but I keep eating anyways.

Everything I've read about overcoming this disorder says that you have to find the emotions or the root behind your eating. I think that I do eat because I don't really have any friends and so it's something to do while I'm bored- but mainly, I just want to eat the stuff because it TASTES GOOD! I do suffer from depression, but I don't know that it's an attributing factor to the situation.

This really is controlling my life though. I would be absolutely mortified if anyone, my boyfriend and family included, saw me eating like I do. I just don't know how to stop. And whenever I try to do something to change or lose weight, it just seems to make it worse because it's something I can't have, so I want it even more.

I've been eating like this for so long, I know that my body is so full of toxins and junk that I need to get rid of. That's why I want to do a water fast. I just don't know how to go about it so I can be successful. (p.s.- a juice fast isn't possible right now, since I don't have a juicer and am studying abroad with a host family; although, I did tell them I was fasting- I've just been shoving my face behind their backs!)

Does anyone have any suggestions/advice/
encouragement/support/tips??.....anything really!

I feel like I've tried everything and am sick of constantly beating myself up from failure after failure. I just want to live a normal life!!!! :(