Thank you Spud - this helps to know and identify that I am currently in a phase of an on-going process, rather than an event. My first glimpse of shedding the christian notion was some 20 years ago, while first trying on the idea of a 12-step program "Higher Power... of my own conception" - I really am feeling that the subsequent cultish indoctrination is where and what I am in the process of releasing. It is pesky, subtle stuff. I read you and IC all over these forums and what you are saying has jarred my mind, prompting inquiry. This loosh thing is amazingly so near what I intuit and cannot verbalize.