More info and navel-gazing (& a small EDIT)

First & foremost, thank you Uny for taking so much of your precious time to address my 'stuff.'

I had to do a lot of cogitating before responding... Lots to think about. I'll just start making bullet points & forget about being totally coherent. 8-)  I'll follow up with some new info that might or might not be relevant.

Was that a Nerf rolling pin? You were gentle!

Caffeine / Coffee

I haven't been taking the kola nut, past the first week or so. I was taking 4 droppers at a time, many/day, and it was too much alcohol for me [EDIT: I'm a former alcoholic/alcohol abuser and very sensitive to the taste, the sensation of even a small bit of alcohol. That amount of alcohol is harmful, but for me, it's too, well, tempting.]... When I had time I'd add hot water & let the alcohol evaporate. Have mostly just cut back on coffee by gradually adding more & more herbal coffee, and drinking less of it overall. It became painfully obvious what an addiction I've had. Need to go for a walk? Brew some coffee first... Need to concentrate on a work project? Make some coffee.... Need an emotional boost? Coffee. Hungry but in a hurry? Large Starbucks latte with 5 shots (yeah 5). Feel insecure, need to feel pampered? Coffee w/ a squirt of whipped cream... Winter makes it harder to stop the hot drink thing, but I think i'm ready to switch to kola nut "tea." (which is actually pretty darn good)... It's very subtle, but I've got a tiny bit more energy. No not energy -- stamina. And I'm not constantly yawning. Wild isn't it?

New info, & answers to your questions

• The blood sugar testing was done 10ish yrs before I started drinking too much.
• Heavy drinking lasted for 10 years. (almost 7 yrs sober now)
• Heart has also been either racing or pounding -- off and on.
• A friend gave me a glucometer, so I took my blood sugar levels Thurs & Fri off and on (the big faint was Wed), including when my heart was racing or pounding. It was never below 90 -- which was 30 minutes after a meal, weirdly. Then 2 hrs later was 93... First thing in morning was 113. etc. So... don't know about our blood sugar theory...?
• Have been uncharacteristically cold. I'm normally warm-natured & don't get cold easily. The last few months i've been getting chills a lot. (which makes hot flashes even more crazy-making!! Shaking one minute... yanking off layers the next to wipe away sweat)
• Had been doing your Unyworm parasite treatment for about a week before this happened. Thought about die-off, but this didn't apply to the episode in December. (hadn't seen much evidence of results so far)
• Fatigued all the time. But you knew that.
• Another possibility: could I be anemic? I was anemic once when i was around 30. I'd been taking a lot of aspirin for back pain. Long story but I got sick & couldn't kick the bug... I was exhausted, cold all the time, and my heart raced. Turned out I was seriously anemic -- bleeding caused by all that aspirin. No aspirin now. Don't know what would cause it other that just not enough iron in my diet. Don't eat much red meat, and i'm not getting enough leafy greens.
• Been taking Emergencee (you know those vitamin C -- ascorbic acid -- packets) --usu. 1/2 packet a day (500mg). I've been reading your posts & links about vit supplements and realize now i need to stop them. I need to read more, but does taking ascorbic acid deplete one of iron? I've always read that it increases iron absorption... just a thought.
• Sleep, you ask? Ugh. I'm getting it, but not enough; and what i get is probably poor quality. Still having night sweats (tho not nearly as many). I have a terrible time getting up in the morning. Honestly I can't remember the last time I've felt refreshed in the morning.
• YES! I'm taking ashwagandha. I love it. I'm mixing it into my 'Uny cocktail.' I find that the taste of the superfood really cuts the bitterness of the ashwagandha. (Miss H, if you're reading, try it!)
• Stress? Yes but not as bad right now, thank God.
• Depression? Oh yeah -- that's my middle name. I've been on Zoloft for years (we had a long discussion about this a while back). Still, been pretty depressed this past year. The unrelenting mom issue doesn't help.

I've got a list of things to order, and I'd like to do the juice fast... but to be honest I'm afraid I won't be able to stick with it. Sigh. It's scary. That's pretty negative isn't it??!... I'm gonna hit up the list for a juice fast buddy. Next post. 8-)

Know what? I'm sick of thinkin' about myself. All this analysis, all this health stuff i'm doing or planning to do, stuff to read, to buy, to remember to take,... it's me, me, me. Know what I mean?

Some little missy needs to sleep now.

[[ hugs ]]

-B