What is an American?

* We yell for the Government to balance the budget, then take the last dime we have to make the down payment on a car.
* We whip the enemy in battle, then give them the shirt off our backs.
* We yell for speed laws that will stop fast driving, then won’t buy a car if it can’t go over 100 miles an hour.
* Americans get scared to death if we vote a billion dollars for education, then are unconcerned when we find out we are spending three billion dollars a year for cigarettes.
* We know the line-up of every baseball team in the American and National Leagues but don’t know half the words in the "Star Spangled Banner".
* We’ll spend half a day looking for vitamin pills to make us live longer, then drive 90 miles an hour on slick pavement to make up for lost time.
* We tie up our dog while letting our sixteen-year-old son run wild.
* We will work hard on a farm so we can move into town where we can make more money so we can move back to the farm.
* In the office we talk about baseball, shopping or fishing, but when we are out at the game, the mall or on the lake, we talk about business.
* We are the only people in the world who will pay $5.00 to park our car while eating a $2.50 sandwich.
* We’re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world and more diets to keep us from eating it.
* We run from morning to night trying to keep our earning power up with our yearning power.
* We’re supposed to be the most civilized Christian nation on earth, but we still can’t deliver payrolls without an armored car.
* We have more experts on marriage than any other country in the world and still have more divorces.