I dont know if I would consider you codependent..... I think you have it pretty much figured out for yourself already. It seems like you are naturaly scared of someone being close to you...lets say real intimacy. So you try to sabotage it but deep down its what you really want. and of course trust and closeness is a difficult business....your roomate has the same problem. So the question is can you both be up for taking that step and go for the plunge (not sure about the spelling)....