disorder in the court

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court. These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters, who had the torment of staying calm whilst these exchanges were taking place. Some of these are excellent. Don’t miss the last one.

Q. Are you sexually active?

A. No, I just lie there



Q. What is your date of birth?

A. July fifteenth

Q. What year?

A. Every year



Q. What gear were you in at the time of impact?

A. Gucci sweats and a pair of Reeboks.



Q. This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory?

A. Yes.

Q. And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A. I forget

Q. You forget. Can you give us an example of something you have forgotten?



Q. How old is your son, the one who is living with you?

A. Thirty eight or thirty five, I can’t remember which

Q. How long has he lived with you

A. forty five years.



Q. What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A. He said “Where am I Cathy?”

Q. And why did that upset you.

A. My name is Susan





Q. Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A. We both do

Q. Voodoo?

A. We do

Q. You do

A. Yes, voodoo



Q. Now Doctor, is it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the following morning?



Q. The youngest son, the twenty year old. How old is he?



Q. Were you present when your picture was taken?



Q. So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A. Yes

Q. And what were you doing at the time?



Q. She had three children, right.

A. Yes

Q. How many were boys?

A. None

Q. Were there any girls?



Q. How was your first marriage terminated?

A. By death

Q. And by whose death was it terminated?



Q. Can you describe the individual?

A. He was about medium height and had a beard

Q. Was this a male or a female?



Q. Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A. No, this is how I dress when I go to work



Q. Doctor how many Autopsies have you performed on dead people

A. All my autopsies have been on dead people



Q. All your responses must be oral. OK which school did you go to?

A. Oral



Q. Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A. The Autopsy started around 8.30 p.m.

Q. And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A. No, he was sat on the table wondering why I was doing an Autopsy.



Q.. Are you qualified to give a urine sample?



Q. Doctor, before you performed the Autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

a. No

Q. Did you check for breathing?

A. No

Q. So it is possible that the patient was alive when you started the Autopsy?

A. No

Q. How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A. Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar

Q.. But could the patient still have been alive, nevertheless?

A. Yes, it is possible that he could have still been alive and practicing law somewhere. Tweet