Re: Has anyone been rejected?

Does it hurt because you're looking for external validation and not getting it?

I see a lot of people who "just want to be loved" and what they really are is emotionally co-dependant. They don't feel they're worth much unless someone ELSE likes them or says they're worth something. They don't value their own opinion and therefore themselves.

This is the basis of the garbage many guys walk around with thinking some woman is "out of their league" and that they have no "chance". They have no chance because they don't love themselves enough to improve on everything about themselves and therefore be an attractive, worthwhile person with much to offer.

We're all the same; we all take craps at the end of the day (except the people who need to colon cleanse), even the people we idolize and make out to be gods who don't have bowel movements like celebrities.

When someone gets rejected, why should it hurt? Is it because it's a reminder of how lacking one's own life is? Did the guy try to meet this new girl because he wanted to give something or take something? Is he lonely? Did he want to bring the girl into his lonely world? Is it surprising when someone gets rejected after trying to take value from someone rather than add?

I noticed that people who are really successful internally and externally give a lot of value rather than take it. It feels good to be around them. They compliment a lot. They have a great life. They give pretty freely without expecting something in return.

The unsuccessful person gets jealous, doesn't give, and tries to raise himself up in the eyes of his peers, usually by cutting people down.

People should get validation from themselves and from their lives, not from other people. If you work on your life and it becomes a life of quality, then quality people will float right in. If there is someone new you want to share your quality life with and they don't take the offer, you will genuinely be fine with that and unphazed, because your life is great with or without that extra person. And, you won't have to tell yourself that either, if it is the truth.

When we're little we're told this lie that we're all special, and later on in life when the truth shows otherwise, it hurts. No one is special. Babies, children, and adults die everyday. It's messed up, but that's how it is. I pass by hundreds of strangers every day, and none of them are special. People are in the obituary everyday and it really has no effect on anything. I was at the cemetary the other day and some of the old tombstones were so worn away with age that you couldn't read it anymore. These people are forgotten by time.

The special people in the world have something great to offer. They make something great of themselves. There have been billions of people who have lived and died in history, but only a handful have overcome and made themselves into something special. Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, Jesus, Moses, Abraham, Confucious, Buddha, Bethoven, George W. Bush (joke), etc. There are even mini-greats of our time, like the pop culture icons. Everyone else is just like extras in a movie.

Everyone is inherently selfish, and the truth is that unless you have something great to offer, no one truly cares and no one will care.

I try to remind myself of this everyday. I have a lot of health problems, some so bad that I can't even get out of bed at times. There are many times where I want to start complaining of how terrible I feel to the people around me, but I try to keep my mouth shut because no one gives a flying f***. Everyone has problems of their own to worry about. Why should I add to it? Even if I did get their sympathy, what would that change? Nothing. I don't care to be that guy who became ill, complained about it, got people to feel sorry for him, then died.

I like to play the guitar and sing. Make music. It is difficult and painful to do because on top of my health problems, I have old injuries that directly affect both of these. Broken hands that never healed properly and a broken thyroid cartilage. I don't play aswell as I could if I didn't have these issues, but I do have the injuries and I keep pushing to improve because no one cares to hear excuses of why I suck and can't play. They only want to hear good music, and so do I. Imagine buying a CD and the guy messes up the guitar playing or sings off key and he's making all these excuses on the recording for why it's happening. Would you think "Man, what a great musician. I want to know more about this guy and his work" or "What the hell did I just waste 13 dollars on this crap for?" If you have all these problems and adversity coming against you and you still overcome, and make great music for example, you're that much greater.

It's a cold world. We were all born alone, and we're probably all going out alone someday, unless someone learns how to do a anti-mortality cleanse. You have to push and work hard to warm up your life into something burning with quality and greatness. Then people will worry about you rejecting them.

Or, you can sit back and play the victim, expecting everything to come to you for free and blaming everything on something external. Like obese people who blame genetics, drug addicts and alcoholics saying they have a disease, etc.

It's a choice.

Some of us were born blessed with an environment that caters to us and some of us were born into horrible dispositions like the starving people in Africa who don't even have access to poisonous tap water to drink.

But whatever situation the universe blessed or cursed us with, no one gives a damn about anyone except themselves. I'm sure most of us here don't spend our days worrying about the dying people in Africa, for example. I'm sure even that bald bearded guy on TV who tries guilting you into making him rich by showing you images of starving kids doesn't care about them.

We can sit around and feel sorry for ourselves, or we can make a great life.

Excuse the ranting tangent, but it all seems relevant to me.