Insomnia, is it that big of a deal?

I thought it was best to tell you another problem I have as to try and explain a tiny bit of Michael Jackson's problems. Yes, again Michael Jackson.

I have Epstein Barr Virus and have it for over 25 years now. It's two main problems is insomnia and weakness brought on by malabsortion of vitamins. So Vitamins and rest a must. So if you have never had insomnia you cannot imagine how horrible it is. Just tonight I finally went to sleep at 6am and slept for 1.5 hours and woke up. Slept another hour and woke up and finally got up at 10:30 am. So this means I will be dragging all day. If I had to work or do any excertion at all I could not do it. On days when I have to go early to the town or to do anything I am exhausted for 2 days. I rarely ever get enough sleep and my body just feels tired most days. What I do try to do is to sleep whenever I can but I find that more and more I can't sleep.

The sun is our enemy so it is like an internal clock not wanting to sleep during these times. So if I had to do the workout Michael Jackson does for his upcoming tour, I could not do it. I understand his desperation for sleep. Some days I go the entire day with no sleep and I just beg Allah for sleep. I am so tired and exhausted I just want to rest.

His whole career depended on this one performance. He had not been on good charts or good minds for over 8 years and being a failure is so humiliating. He lost his home and the place where thousands of children came and relaxed and he lost his life. He was a laughing stock to many. This was his chance to get his dignity back again. We don't have to agree with him but try to understand a little more and not to criticize him.

So if he did take sleeping pills I understand the need and the urge. I do not agree with this lifestyle at all but I do understand that money brings on ability to have even what we know is bad. He begged for help and the problem is someone finally gave in. As I sit here typing, I am thinking of my sleepless nights. I do not take any sleeping aides and what I try is natural but many days I am so tired especially with what I have been thru the last month with my worms. Drugs never are the answer and if you have insomnia I feel for you but if you do don't take drugs. They in the end will kill you.

Suicide cocktail, sleeping pills, anti depressants and pain meds. The same cocktail that killed Ledger and Ana Nicole and her son. Stop this and accept your destiny and try many natural things. The one thing that works for me more than most and that is some Airline Sleep Glasses. Yes, I wear them all the time to block out the sun. You can buy them in most stores. I just recently had a pair given to me but I have had one that I bought in a store for a couple of years and also I keep a gel filled ice pack in the freezer for the eyes which I use to block the sun and cool my swollen eyes.

I was dreaming about Anderson Cooper. He and I went to lunch and we were eating a very light chicken lunch. He was very sweet and attentive. Lol, dreams are great.

Sara