dealing with myself and a breakup

Hey There

I recently broke up with my bf as of yesterday. I did it overall for myself because i have some personal issues i would like to deal with before i try to have a romantic relationship with somebody.

Some of the issues are/ were being kinda clingy when my ex bf didn't wanna spend some weekends with me. I end up feeling sad, anxious and a sense of rejection. Even thou he probally wasn't even rejecting me. He just lived down the street.

I don't understand why i felt that sometimes. I feel insecure that i couldn't be do things as good as him like playing video games and pool. I didn't feel that sexually appealing to him being pregnant. I feel that my bf didn't really love me like he said he did. He said he wanted a family with me.

I have a kid from another guy, he didn't even take the effort to even play with him for five minutes and when i tell him how i feel about some things he didn't really know how to respond. And he masked his feelings about some. He told me growing up he never was allowed to cry, show sadness, hurt in by his mom.

My mom says if he really loved me and wanted a family with me he would of taken more a interest in my son's life more and would of came with me and my son to go swimming instead of hanging out with a friend he hasn't seen in months and was leaving town on Monday.

She seems not to be very supportive of my breakup with him because she doesn't like him at all. Which makes me feel like shit cuz i need some emotional support rite now. I would turn too my best friend, but he's gone outta town.

I realize he has a has a drinking problem, its not a hardcore drinking problem. He just can't stay away from it for a long time and drinks to deal with his own stress and for some other reasons too.

I feel so much like shit, i can't stand being alone in my place for more then a hour without thoughts of my ex ( what he has done, said) running) in my head and making me feel anxious. I can't stand being alone in my place. I don't always have people's houses to go too to try to get over some things.

How do i keep being being alone without lots of emotional support from family members who don't understand what i am going thru. I have a counsellor already, but i don't see her alot and most of the shit she tells me is stuff i already know.

I want some coping skills to deal with some of my issues soo i begin to feel my void of not being loved. I wanna learn to love and care for myself. Any healthy postive suggestions?