Re: Update, my reaction to others responses to me

I have been feeling badly the last few days. Low energy, mysterious bowels(translation: not knowing when or how they might move), fear of job uncertainity, etc.  'Sorry to hear things are a bit bumpy & low energy (on top of the job thing)

I have been trying to understand my own feelings and reactions to Uny's reply to my post about my finding it hard doing IP alone. I'm going to PM you when I get done here :) Just fyi, I haven't read any of the other responses yet - so if I'm 'repeating' don't think I'm trying to "pound you" or anything! lol To clarify I'm not quite into the real and whole IP program, better to say I'm attempting to do the foundational program. I am 14 or 15 days into juice fasting, along with IF#2 started at same time. Uny pointed out that its better to start IF#2 before starting the fast, to stabilize knowing how much IF#1 you need to have 3 BM's a day, but I didn't realize that at the time so I have just kept going. I took ten IF#1's yesterday.  I don't know how often you were bm-ing before you started, so I have no idea if 10 IF#1 is a lot or not for you...but from 'everything below' added to this, perhaps you'd like to take 2-3 days (or longer) and just do partial juicing fasting, while eating LOTS of fibrous produce?  That's perfectly alright when not dealing with a life-threatening disease.  Of course all disease is actually life-threatening in some way or another - but I'm sure you know what I mean.

This post is going to be a LOT of "rhetorical questions" (and what I consider to be 'factual comments') - because I feel like questions & truths help me to identify the puzzle pieces and put them together in a way  that *I* know is right for me.  You're FAR more knowledgeable about your own emotions than any of us could ever be - so I hope you find these "tools" useful to your healing & restoration :)

Anyway, I posted about my feelings of personal struggle, which are related to this program but more accurately are about me and my life. While I don't disagree with what Uny said, and also Wings, about how I need to help others to resolve my own loneliness and depression, it is hard to listen to because I am pretty aware of these things. ???  "hard to listen because I'm already aware".  I don't 'get it', but it's not important...onward.  I am deeply frustated and unhappy about not being productive and I want to make a difference for others. It has been part of my "plan" for a long time, but one which has not been realized as of yet. Do you know why "it" hasn't been realized? Do you know what's holding you back and stopping you from making a plan and then working the plan? Because struggling against an unknown force makes for a very difficult fight :( Physical, mental, spiritual...it's like Dr. Christopher says, we can't just treat the symptom and sometimes even treating the 'obvious' cause isn't enough - many times we have to go to the cause BEHIND the cause.  I have made a significant difference for others at various times, both in my work and personal life; but I never developed the type of career that would fulfill me and sustain me as well as contribute to a better world. When I was working I was always the type that went the extra mile and saw the humanity in others instead of just doing it for money. Good for you!  I've been in the restaurant biz on at off for years (at all levels) - I was THE best food-server I could be, everytime I went to work...good tips or not.  Seeing the humanity in others is a good gift to have :) At the same time I have never made much money and have felt the restrictions of this in recent years.

One feeling I had in reading others's reactions to me is like a line from a song: "Please don't confront me with my failures; I'm aware of them." But Vernal - you threw them out there with the intent (I assume) of having people comment.  Nobody 'confronted you' with any failures that you didn't post :(

I am actually deeply ashamed at my status/situation/position in life at the present time. There's no need to be ashamed!  Everybody starts from where they are 'right now'.  I seriously doubt you ever made intentional choices that you KNEW were wrong!  And you know what? Even if you did, that was yesterday....the only thing important about yesterday is to analyze it for mistakes and learn from them...it's what you do from this second on that counts!  (YAY!  I love that!!  My past failures are tools for learning, not clubs to use for beating myself!)  Besides, just like every liver is in a completely different condition every time we flush it, you are completely different person with each passing day.  You'll never again be the man you were yesterday, and tomorrow you'll never be the same exact man you are today.  I worked hard and extra hours for many years and now see that activity as misguided and like being stuck on a treadmill. My health was being hurt and I was not well-connected spiritually or emotionally, eventually my adrenals became shot and other health problems developed. I do not bother to post all my issues, as I am unraveling the different layers.  Great! So you've identified some of what you did that didn't have the results you intended - that's where we start.  Solidly identifying 'the cause' and the problems.  (no fun, but necessary)

Low self-esteem, lack of self-love, avoiding others due to shame or fear of rejection or judgement, and other issues made it hard to develop suitable employment or a good personal life. Divorce and subsequent lost relationships caused depression and a feeling of being defeated. Yes indeedy, lack of self-esteem and self-love (and fear of rejection) generally ends in 'lost relationships' - most people don't care to be involved with people that are lacking in self-esteem/love and afraid of being themselves around others. And it's good that you're able to identify the 'symptom' (divorce/lost releationship, depression and defeat)...and low self-esteem/love and fear of rejection/judgement certainly appears to be the cause...but the question you need to answer to get down to healing and restoration (just like the physical body) is what CAUSED the lack of self-esteem and self-love?  Those issues don't just come from 'nowhere'.  They always have a cause, and that cause can always be addressed and healed.  YIPPEE - there ARE no incurable diseases!

I know Uny and Wings were trying to help and not criticize. Absolutely true! Its just that I'm aware that I don't love myself, and I believe I spoke of this but don't remember whether on forum or in email. Lousie Hay is more straightforward about this than most.. saying that most people don't love themselves.Also true, many people don't love themselves. Those that read this and can't imagine it true I don't recall anyone indicting it's not true...all I remember is people making supportive suggestions as to what you might do about it. don't realize that most health issues do result from within, from something we have done or not done in our lives. I don't know about anyone else, but 'wings n' me DO realize health issues comes from within.  See Video #7 Natural Healing Crusade.  Uny also points this out in her own words. Of course a toxic world makes it much harder, but most of us who develop a chronic condition ignored symptoms for a long time, which is a form of not taking care or loving ourselves. Of course many of us are out of touch with what loving ourselves is or how to do it, not having received what we needed as children and not having been educated in what a normal, natural way of being is. Okay, so now you're getting (at least partially) to the cause behind the cause...great!

I have always struggled, since the earliest days of childhood, with emotional difficulties. This is HUGE - it is NOT normal for 'earliest days of childhood' children to struggle with emotional difficulties.  There IS always a cause for them (children, unlike adults, do not 'do it to themselves').  Playground/school abuse? Parents that implanted & reinforced 'loser mentality (you're dumb/stupid/worthless, etc)'? Something about the real you that you knew if you admitted, for which adults/children would reject you? (buried or known?) Bad spiritual teaching? Physical abuse? Something about the real you that you couldn't possibly admit to yourself? (buried or known?)...whatever it is (or combination), you CAN find them, destroy them and rebuild (just like with a cancer tumor). You've GOT to get to the cause - and then you'll be able to find/learn what to do to heal it.  And once you do that, you'll start healing at light-speed!I am looking forward and very curious to see how doing this program affects me and gives me the strength to face life in a new way. When I felt good physically it was much easier to face challenges, and if I get "younger" and feel better in my body I think I will be able to use that to be stronger in facing the emotional challenges.Yes indeedy, the physical part of the IP is a GREAT assist...but like you pointed out earlier, a shattered ego and lack of self-love/esteem are many times at the root of the physical.  'Gotta love that Dr. Schulze - the full IP is a FULL body program.  When he was in practice and couldn't get results with the physical, he'd go to people's homes and start trying to find the 'emotional'.  Be sure you watch that video #7 - it's AWESOME.  With ALL healing, we've GOT to get to 'the cause behind the cause'.  You CAN do it Vernal!  I am SURE you can!!! EFT is a major tool here (self-questioning is another - but there are others).  The most important step is (Dr. Schulze): STOP doing what makes you sick and START doing what makes you well.  You're already "in the middle of it all"...just keep moving forward.  By the way, do you happen to have started working on your liver?  Boyee, that WILL stir up the ole emotional tsunami - with every cleansing liver protocol you'll be peeling off the layers (just like layers of onion).  Healing advise (NOT criticism):  Seek for the true cause behind the cause and stop dwelling on all the symptoms and pain the cause has caused.  All failures & pain are SO 'yesterday'.  Do NOT base your future on past failures, hurts & rejections.  As of the second you read this (and every second thereafter) you are a NEW MAN!  And you ARE COMPLETELY in charge of your destiny & future.  You do NOT have to 'repeat' - your destiny is yours to create!

I was going to cover other issues in one post, but hesitate to go on and on so I will make separate posts. One positive note: hot/cold showers are AWESOME! They are difficult to do, yesterday I had to force myself to take the cold water, and I can honestly say I cried out in emotional pain, BUT I felt alive and good and like I could accomplish so much more than I usually think. If you haven't tried it, you can begin with hot and then COOL, your body gets used to it and then you can try colder. The first two days I only did cool then switched to coldest setting on the third day and always do coldest now. It can be hard to get started but its a big accomplishment.  :::insert here:::: Everything that everybody else has said!  You ARE the "go to" for hot/cold showers!  Jump into the forum and start telling everybody how necessary they are - and what emotional flow they create.  (I've been typing this on/off for hours, so at this point I have seen the other responses).

Great big healing hugs!!

Unyquity