Finding love on line - ohhh if it was that easy!!

Finding love online
Stamina is key to online dating, says Angus Watson.


By Angus Watson
Last Updated: 12:45PM GMT 09 Jan 2009
Finding love online
Screen test: make sure your photo is eye-catching Photo: Getty

January is internet dating boom time. At this time of year, the number of people joining online dating sites doubles. An even greater rise is expected this year, as online dating not only sheds the stigma of the internet and becomes respectable, but becomes generally accepted as the best way of finding love, especially for the over-thirties.

Christmas and the New Year holidays are usually the catalyst for lonely singletons. Rictus grin beneath party hat, he or she wades through social gatherings thronging with newly-engaged couples, then heads family-wards to find pregnant sisters aglow with lovely fecundity, while brothers-in-law manfully marshal surly but adorable toddlers.

Little wonder then that so many swallow inhibitions and sign up to the possibility of electronic romance. And why not? We all shop online now because it has become easy and reliable. Internet dating is the same. Of course, it has detractors. You'll meet people who have tried online romance and sworn never to go near it again. But find the right site, do it properly, and online dating is as good a path to finding your soulmate as any. It's certainly more appealing than trawling bars.

As well as romantic potential, there's comfort in chatting online to other single people, and finding that being unattached does not make you a social pariah, nor is it even unusual. There are plenty of other decent, attractive people out there. There's a reason that the Telegraph's dating website is called Kindred Spirits.

But you've got to work hard to be successful. Devote plenty of time to creating your profile, choose a good photo, and write an interesting, original narrative.

And remember that it won't happen immediately. Many people join for just a month, meet five people (including one complete weirdo), fail to fall in love, and decide online dating doesn't work. Perseverance is key. Bert Carlton, a 35 year-old Londoner, found his girlfriend on his 65th internet date. "I don't regret the others," he insists. "I met some really great people, three of whom are still friends. But it's difficult to find someone you really click with. It's a case of persistence, being more selective with whom you meet and keeping cheerful. I enjoyed the whole thing and now it's just great to be making holiday plans with someone I love."

So, singleton, don't despair. Rally yourself, and find true love online. And if it doesn't work immediately, is single life really that bad? There's no nagging, no sulking, no jealousy, and, best of all, have a closer look at those couples. Are their lives really so blissful? And would you rather be mopping up baby diarrhoea in the night, or dreaming of your next internet date?

TIPS FOR INTERNET NOVICES

Be original: We know that you like going on holiday and are looking for someone with similar interests, because you’re a human being. So leave that out, and write something original.

Include a photo: Unless you’re a supergrass with a new secret life, you must include a photo, or nobody will pay you any attention.

Be active: Search the site for people you like. Waiting for them to find you is like waiting for fish to jump into your fishing boat.

Don’t give up: Frog to prince ratio is as high as in the real world, but the princes and princesses are out there. But it may take a long time to find them.

Don’t despair when people don’t write back: There are plenty of reasons that people don’t reply: they may be inundated with suitors, starting a new relationship, or anything. Don’t take it personally.

Avoid writing essays: Approach with a short email, so your respondent doesn’t feel obliged to write a long email back and simplify their reply by asking a question or two.

* Telegraph Dating - free one week subscription for the first 1,000 new members - http://www.telegraph.co.uk/datingoffer

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