STRATEGIES FOR DEMENTIA / Alzheimer's CAREGIVING

In caring with my Mom ( 82y/o ..dementia, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s 4/5 years sense we started seeing the clear signs) always searching… ran across the article below… I’ve printed and have it so anyone working (PT and RN for 60 days cycle then off for 30 and back on “medicare facts of the road“) or visiting guest (hahaha(short list everybody is fearful “ALZHEIMER’S“!!!-- to stop bye now) can have some helpful guidance to use with her. I read it several times a week…yes…your skills of communication…need to be changed…it will not be a serene talk ever again (for very long periods) …that is a fact…just learn..to lessen the bad…if it be possible…it is “in and out” with them every day…from morning to the next morning …every learning because dementia is always destroying/ killing section after section of the brain…all the way to the end/death.

>>>side note<<<< FYI…There is little to no coverage with medicare or private insurance (dad’s work/retirement ) regarding “Alzheimer’s dementia …just so those that have never dealt with this sickness/disease …those that are or have …can tell ..for sure… And that is 99% of us!!! The only way is Medicaid and that takes the savings, investments of a life time to pay first and then after you are “broke” you can then apply for Medicaid to pay… they are a lot of legal protection one can do but you have to “do it” 5 years or so before you will need the medical help… so if you have this in your family…start working on the front…several years before the hard care for them may be needed… We didn’t fully do the protect of $$$ and it is a great involvement 24/7 now …all on us (dad, me, and my wife-who went thru Breast Cancer treatment,2007) in a home environment with a person with all the psychological and physical care that continues to increase.

Please feel free to share “tools”/ stuff heard/have use strategies ….with us, families who care for love ones with this horrible disease?

Have a absolutely wonderful year, 2009, Steve

http://www.strengthforcaring.com/manual/stress-relief-communicating/10-real-l...
part of the article below:

10 REAL-LIFE STRATEGIES FOR DEMENTIA CAREGIVING
By Family Caregiver Alliance
As caregivers, we often use intuition to help us decide what to do. No one ever gave us lessons on how to relate to someone with memory loss. Unfortunately, dealing with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias is counterintuitive. That is, often the right thing to do is exactly opposite that which seems like the right thing to do.
Here are 10 tips that can help:
Being reasonable, rational, and logical may get you into trouble.

When someone is acting in ways that don’t make sense, we tend to carefully explain the situation, calling on his or her sense of appropriateness to get compliance.However, the person with dementia doesn’t have a “boss” in his brain any longer, so he does not respond to our arguments, no matter how logical. Straightforward, simple sentences about what is going to happen are usually the best.

People with dementia may not need to be grounded in reality.

When someone has memory loss, he often forgets important things, e.g., that his mother is deceased. When we remind him of this loss, we remind him about the pain of that loss also. When someone wants to go home, reassuring him that he is at home often leads to an argument. Redirecting and asking someone to tell you about the person he has asked about or about his home may be a better way to calm a person with dementia.

You cannot be a perfect caregiver.

Just as there is no such thing as a perfect parent, there is no such thing as a perfect caregiver.You have the right to the full range of human emotions, and sometimes you are going to be impatient or frustrated. Learning to forgive your loved one as well as yourself is essential in the caregiving journey.

Therapeutic lying may reduce stress.

We tend to be meticulously honest with people. However, when someone has dementia, honesty can lead to distress both for us and the one we are caring for. Does it really matter that your loved one thinks she is the volunteer at the day care center? Is it okay to tell your loved one that the two of you are going out to lunch and then “coincidentally” stop by the doctor’s office on the way home to pick something up as a way to get her to the doctor?

Making agreements may not work.

If you ask your loved one to not do something ever again, or to remember to do something, it will soon be forgotten. For people in early stage dementia, leaving notes as reminders can sometimes help, but as the disease progresses, this will not work. Taking action, rearranging the environment, rather than talking and discussing, is usually a more successful approach. For example, getting a teakettle with an automatic “off” switch is better than warning someone of the dangers of leaving the stove on.

Doctors often need to be educated by you.

Telling the doctor what you see at home is important. The doctor can’t tell during an examination that your loved one has been up all night pacing. Sometimes doctors, too, need to deal with therapeutic lying; e.g., telling the patient that an antidepressant is for memory rather than depression.

You can’t do it all. It’s okay to accept help.

When people offer to help, the answer should always be YES. Have a list of things people can do to help you, whether it is bringing a meal, picking up a prescription, helping trim the roses or staying with your loved one while you run an errand. This will reinforce offers of help.It is harder to ask for help than to accept it when it is offered, so don’t wait until you “really need it” to get support.

Try not to over- or underestimate what your loved one can do.

It is often easier to do something for our loved ones than to let them do it for themselves. However, if we do it for them, they will lose the ability to be independent in that skill.On the other hand, if we insist individuals do something for themselves and they get frustrated, we just make our loved ones agitated and probably haven’t increased their abilities to perform tasks. Not only is it a constant juggle to find the balance, but be aware that the balance may shift from day to day.

Tell, don’t ask.

Asking “What would you like for dinner?” may have been a perfectly normal question at another time.But now we are asking our loved one to come up with an answer when he or she might not have the words for what they want, might not be hungry, and even if they answer, might not want the food when it is served after all.Saying “We are going to eat now” encourages the person to eat and doesn’t put them in the dilemma of having failed to respond.

It's normal to question the diagnosis when your loved one has moments of lucidity.

One of the hardest things to do is to remember that we are responding to a disease, not the person who once was. Everyone with dementia has times when they make perfect sense and can respond appropriately. We often feel like that person has been faking it or that we have been exaggerating the problem when these moments occur. We are not imagining things—they are just having one of those moments, to be treasured when they occur.
This article was created by Family Caregiver Alliance. Reprinted with permission. To learn more about Family Caregiver Alliance (FCA), go to http://www.caregiver.org