Hi Rudi,
I feel and think the exactly same as you. I have the feeling, the soul is more a slave to the body. When God is the ultimate Love, how could a soul decide to harm other people and do cruel things. How could a soul decide to be a child soldier in Africa or be a child abuser? Maybe it is about duality but it is still evil and there is no love and God. I hope like you that when my time comes, my soul will be so brave and intelligent to decide to say no to a life in this world.