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Twas the Night Before Flushing
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Published: 20 years ago
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Twas the Night Before Flushing

Okay folks. I'm completely bonkers for doing this, but I'm finishing up my 5th flush, woke up early and decided to write a peom for the group.

Enjoy, and Merry Christmas!


Twas the Night Before Flushing

Twas the night before flushing, when all through my body
Not a thing was rejoicing, and I felt like potty;
Ingredients were sat on the counter with care,
In hopes that cholesterol balls soon would be there;

I pinched off my nose and did take bitter salts,
While I dreamt of a time when my symtoms would halt.
With oil and lemon I took my night-cap,
Then settled in bed for a long restless nap.

When inside my stomach there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to empty my bladder.
Away to the toilet I flew like a flash,
Pulled open the lid and sat down on my ass.

With bowels a quaking I released and let go,
Then turned on a light to see if there were objects below.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a bowl full of chaff and eight little pea spheres.

With more bitter salts to make my pipes slick,
I hoped to all goodness that I wouldn't get sick.
More rapid than bullets, the objects they came,
I whistled and thanked the potion to blame.

Now epsom and olive oil, ornithine and lemon,
You've flushed out the crud and my spirits have risen.
It's painless and safe, don't be frightened or stall,
Now flush away, flush away, flush away all!

At half past the hour my bowels did rumble,
I wondered what size of a stone would now tumble.
So back to the throne room with anticipation,
This time a handfull like little black raisins.

I waited and prayed, hoping more would arrive,
When all of a sudden one dropped of great size.
It was larger than a golf ball, more ugly than sin,
But was glad it had decided to finally drop in.

It was chubby and plump, the biggest I've seen,
I laughed when I saw it, and thought it was keen.
With camera in hand, lest I should forget,
I snapped up a picture and posted it on the net.

Now I'm feeling chipper with happiness gushing,
One's body is good when consistenly flushing.
For a squeeky clean liver is better than wealth,
Happy flushing to all, and to all be good health.


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