Re: Need help dealing with Impact of NPD mom.

My Dad also defended my Mum against me and my brother,I will be interested to see how they respond to my letter. My brother has sent my mother loads of stuff he downloaded from the net about NPD, its pretty damning stuff, but I think he needed to do it to get it off his chest as he's so hurt.

I am 50 so I think we have both spent enough time on the impossible task of trying to be what they want. Try and keep in touch with your niece, it sounds like some day in the future she will need your support. My mum is an only child but I got on well with my dads sister who didnot understand their behaviour. My parents are very close, that is their problem, they only seem to want each other and we were always in the way. We were never allowed friends round etc, I think my saving grace was them making me leave home at 17. Both my brother and I are completely different parents to our children and are very close to them. I've spent my whole life making sure I am not like her which caused its own problems when I had my children as I put myself under so much pressure to be the perfect mum. I never wanted to have a daughter because of my relationship with her and now have two lovely sons. My niece is 19 and we are very close so now she's like the daughter I neverhad which is lovely.

I'm glad you've got good support from your friends and other family members. Maybe we need to realise we just haven't got the parents we wanted and let it go once and for all. We need to look at it from a different perspective and make the most of all the good things we have in our life. I feel very positive about things, my recent experience taught me that life is short and we should not waste time on negative emotions. I am sure you will find that special person,my granny always said to me "make sure you marry someone kind, thats what matters most" and she was right. Thankfully I did, and I do believe there are plenty of good people out there. Good luck, Lola Tweet