I just read the forum Descriiption, for the first time.

Oh boy!

I can certainly see why some factions don't want to recognize this as a real problem...there are far too many if's, and's, and but's to it.

For just one example, the core source of the attitude may be a relative...not the opposing spouse at all. And the attitude may have come from that spouse's childhood, long before you two were married.

Combine that with any complications that you carry, and no one can be healthy or happy.


But, the best part of this is that it CAN be cured...usually with no words at all, and lots of smiles.

I know, I know...the manipulations gall...anger, and hurt...but only until you see the way around.

(It took me more than 20 years to see that way.)

The key to the answer lies in the needs of the child themselves.

You would be raising the child according to their own individual needs, anyway, if the marriage hadn't broken up...so continue.


What does a child need and want?

Approval, support, and, above all, an example. ...Assuming they have food on the table and a bed to sleep in, of course...and protection from harm.


A young man in our family, going through a divorce, was telling how his ex was crazy, and so was her mother.

I just told him, "If you suspect that your children are in any danger, it is your absolute duty to rescue them...whatever that takes."

He shut up about the 'crazy' aspect.


Approval, support, and an example, spring from inside you. The child can't help but feel them in your aura, even at a great distance.

(Don't ask me how...we are just made that way.)

Use every example you can find in the world at large to cultivate your own picture of fine parenting. Even fantasize...and 'project' it. 'Project' it with the energy of movement, at work or exercise or play. Your kid will feel it.

Also recall and enjoy those moments of 'bonding' you did share. They may have been in silence and quiet, or in shared laughter...moments of appreciation of each other. You know the ones I mean...they last forever.

And, since you are the adult, choose some fields of discovery for your little one. Things you truly like and admire that are completely new to the babe...but do it open-endedly...so that the child may choose what interests them, and go with that.

Discovery lifts. Tradition solidifies, routine is comfortable, but discovery inspires.

I'll link a post I made a few days ago that is one I'm quite proud of.


//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1263551



No matter how far away you are from your child, how seldom or how briefly you see them, the life with them you create in your mind exerts a powerful pull, and health not only in the child, but in you. Use it.

And, no, I didn't, for many years...but I found that it is never too late to begin. Turns out that the unhappinesses of that marriage weren't worth the powder to blow them to the hot place.

The beauties of a fine relationship with your child are everything.

Imagination is your saving grace.

Try it.

Try it, say, for one hour, every Monday evening at seven.

You'll see.

My best,

Fledgling