Bulimic need help please!!!

This is my first time asking for help and I dont know what to do. I started a pattern of binging and laxative abuse during Christmas following a major break up (6 year relationship). I used food as a coping mechanism and the excuse that the holidays were a very emotional time for me. I told myself that I would stop once the holidays were over but that did not happen. More stressful events continued to occur (valentines day, birthday, dating again, medical school, moving to a strange city).I believe that I also did it as a means of being able to control that aspect in my life. I love to be in control and my world has turned upside down this year. I hate myself and my terrible habits and soooo terribly want to stop. Ive tried to treat myself- food diaries, eating normal meals, staying busy, inspirational quotes- but then a week later that urge comes and there is no stopping it. I eat and eat and eat until I can barely breathe and then I become depressed and motivated to stop again.

I need treatment options. I cannot check into anywhere nor do I think I need to, because I am in the middle of medical school. Im working on trying to find a counselor of some sort, but even find this forum took a while. Help is not that easy to find. Im hoping that talking about my problems on here will help as well.

Can anyone offer any suggestions? Tweet