Mercury

Possibly mercury poisoning. Do you have silver fillings? Do you get thimerosol vaccinations? Look up the symptoms of mercury exposure. Google mercury/oxytocin/trust issues. Could also be candida related.

Cut all the crap out of your diet. Stop drinking milk. Eat whole foods. I reccommend taking lots of Methylcobalamin B12.

Start from there, keep working at it and every day you will get better (this is not the same thing as feeling better). Reversing 19 years of abuse will not happen overnight, and a sudden cure does not exist. You have to make your new healthy way a permanent lifestyle, otherwise look forward to many more periodic health crisis in your future. In the long run this is the cheapest way to live - not living healthy will eventually cost you in many ways down the road. Trust me I was once your age.