Thank you for your answer, but I don't think he has an active fantasy life either...the "degrading" behavior we were referring to was that I wanted him to hold my head during oral sex--be a little more aggressive. i also wanted him to ejaculate on me...so maybe I have the problem? He didn't bring these things up...I did--but he admitted that the latter turned him on, but he just didn't feel right doing it to me. So...I guess I'm still confused....