Well let first say, I am so happy you are alive. I was worried about you and looked to see any recent post so All Praise to Allah you have made it this far.
Years ago I went thru a divorce and wanted to die so I went to a physchiatrist and she made me remember a past I had forgotten, my God it was so awful not any soap opera could match it and the pain unimaginable so I did the one smart thing, I flushed my antidepresant down the toilet and fired her. Hey if everyone else could do it why not me but dont blame your parents if they love you enough to try. If my son told me he was suicidal I would take him too. So hang in there and know that there is help for you and we understand but who knows what God has planned for you.
Tell me Scarface about your religion. Do you have a particular church or religion you pray to? This life is so short and we can only make it thru faith.