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Re: A book by Debbie Ford - "Why People Do Bad Things"
 
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Published: 16 y
 
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Re: A book by Debbie Ford - "Why People Do Bad Things"


"Can you cite some of the methods she used to neutralize her pain?"

Well, a typical method was to recognize something about another person that you don't like - the more you dislike that aspect of the person, the better.  You can even write down say five things you do like about the person (even if you don't like them), and then the five major things you don't like about them.  Then, you sit in a relaxed, rather meditative state and take one thing at a time that you don't like and keep repeating it until you can "own" that you have that trait within yourself.  It helps to have amusement about it.  It also helps to recognize how you've used that trait in a positive way in your life.  Perhaps you don't like someone because they leave things scattered around and messy and you are very neat and clean.  Yet somewhere in your life - maybe even very early in life, you have been messy.  Perhaps you were punished for being messy and strove very hard to be neat and clean and by doing so have hid the messy side of yourself and find fault in others who are currently that way.  Yet perhaps being messy at one time or another was a positive for you by giving you time to do other things than clean or pick up.  That's just one on the list of five.  You work your way down the list doing the same thing with each word that you have chosen.  There is the other side of the coin too and that's perhaps you don't like a person because they are successful.  In that case you have to look within yourself for what you have in fact been successful at or with.  In that case you learn to validate yourself for a positive, for actually being successful.  Everything that we don't like about others is what we don't like about ourselves.  It's our dark side that when we uncover it, it shines.  I use a form of meditation that I've used for a long time to get to these things and found that very useful.  Attending one of Debbie's seminars and having people reflect these things back at you is obviously another way to get to them.  I think that doing it on your own may require some commitment, but I find it worthwhile.

"I've had this book on my shelf for nearly 6 months. I, too sense that we self-sabotage what LOA is poised to have us experience because of these patterns we unconsciously engage."

Oh we do self-sabotage, that's part of the learning process.  Much of that is from the negatives that we've been taught about ourselves that aren't really true and is part of the fiction we are clearing out.

 

 
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