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16 y
Re: A book by Debbie Ford - "Why People Do Bad Things"
"Can you cite some of the methods she used to neutralize her
pain?"
Well, a typical method was to recognize something about another person that
you don't like - the more you dislike that aspect of the person, the
better. You can even write down say five things you do like about the
person (even if you don't like them), and then the five major things you don't
like about them. Then, you sit in a relaxed, rather meditative state and
take one thing at a time that you don't like and keep repeating it until you can
"own" that you have that trait within yourself. It helps to have
amusement about it. It also helps to recognize how you've used that trait
in a positive way in your life. Perhaps you don't like someone because
they leave things scattered around and messy and you are very neat and
clean. Yet somewhere in your life - maybe even very early in life, you
have been messy. Perhaps you were punished for being messy and strove very
hard to be neat and clean and by doing so have hid the messy side of yourself
and find fault in others who are currently that way. Yet perhaps being
messy at one time or another was a positive for you by giving you time to do
other things than clean or pick up. That's just one on the list of
five. You work your way down the list doing the same thing with each word
that you have chosen. There is the other side of the coin too and that's
perhaps you don't like a person because they are successful. In that case
you have to look within yourself for what you have in fact been successful at or
with. In that case you learn to validate yourself for a positive, for
actually being successful. Everything that we don't like about others is
what we don't like about ourselves. It's our dark side that when we
uncover it, it shines. I use a form of meditation that I've used for a
long time to get to these things and found that very useful. Attending one
of Debbie's seminars and having people reflect these things back at you is obviously
another way to get to them. I think that doing it on your own may require
some commitment, but I find it worthwhile.
"I've had this book on my shelf for nearly 6 months. I, too sense
that we self-sabotage what LOA is poised to have us experience because of these
patterns we unconsciously engage."
Oh we do self-sabotage, that's part of the learning process. Much of
that is from the negatives that we've been taught about ourselves that aren't
really true and is part of the fiction we are clearing out.