Re: "I want to thank my husband who watched the kids while I made this lesbian documentary...."

"Take me now, Jesus!"

Why?

Jesus did give you (and me) some excellent advice in that area though. 

Matthew 18:9: ^"And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire."