Urinary Frequency

I have had urinary frequency since I had surgery in that area as a child. I probably go to the bathroom about 20 times a day (and night). I have seen a urologist all my life for the problem and know one seems to be able to solve it. I think I missed being "potty trained" so when I have the urge to go it really hurts. I don't have problems with leaking or anything, in fact I have problems even being able to go if I have to hold it for a long time. This is why the frequent urination drugs don't work for me. They make it harder to go. So, I can't really travel on planes, boats or trains, because I have trouble voiding on things that move and when I think about traveling, I get so nervous that I have to go more. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? Does anyone else have this problem. My DR says I am very rare. I've tried drugs, biofeedback, therapy...