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Men versus Women
 
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Published: 17 y
 

Men versus Women


1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
 
(because they  are plugged into a genius)
 
 
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN  BLINK DURING SEX?
(they  don't have enough time)
 
 
 
 
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1  MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
 
(they don't stop to ask  directions)
 
 
 
 
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN  THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their  balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor  lock)
 
 
 
 
(You're  laughing, aren't you?!?!)
 
 
 
 
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN  LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktail  parties)
 
 
 
 
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN  BEFORE WOMEN?
(you  need a rough draft before you make a final  copy)
 
 
 
 
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT  TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never  happened)
 
 
 
 
( C'mon  guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
And the personal favorite:
 
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the  lawn)
 
 
 
 
Remember,  if you haven't got a smile on your face  and  laughter  in your
heart...Then you are just an old sour fart  !

One  for the ladies
One  day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds  after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting
do I  use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied.. 'What does  it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of  Oklahoma .'
And  they say blondes are dumb...
------------------------------  -----------------
A couple is  lying in bed. The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman  in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you....'
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
'It's  just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of
the  shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the
lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she  replied.
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good  looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
 
-----  ------------------------------------------------------
 
Dear  Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And  Patience
for his moods.. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat  him to death.
AMEN
 
 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------  -
Q: Why do  little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
_____________________
Q:  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and
calling  your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q:  How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the  mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
--
 

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