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Re: help cancer!
 
turiya Views: 1,764
Published: 17 y
 
This is a reply to # 1,080,624

Re: help cancer!


"My father has been taken in to hospital and has been told he has a cancerous tumor between the right lung and heart, which has caused a swelling in one of the veins (vena cava)which is causing him breathing problems.

He is on oxygen to help him breath, but the doctors can not decide what type of cancer it is and therefore can not start either chemo or radio.

What alternatives can I start with him, he is in his 80's."
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I am sorry to read about your father.

I am not certain how bad off he is... bedridden or able to go to toilet for himself?
Once your father is under hospital care it is very difficult for you to try to help him yourself. The best thing that you can do is to make him as comfortable as you can. Be with him as much as you are able, as much as you feel to be with him. Learn from the nurses and the aids how to do things for him. Make sure he gets enough water [its one thing they really don't monitor well]. Try to learn what his needs are and how to comfort him. This is a time for you to learn, also. So, if he were ever to be released from the hospital, that you could do as much as you could. This will be helpful to prepare yourself for his final departure as well.

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Sorry if there is so much to read, please do not feel to be offended. But this was my mother's situation as it related to me, she was 82:

My mother had a rough time with a blockage within her intestines. She was bedridden due to a series of strokes a year and a half prior to this time. She was admitted to a small hospital near where she lived because she was unable to defecate or urinate. Similarly, the doctors at this hospital did not feel that my mother was able to withstand any kind of treatment, not even to relieve her of the distention in her abdomen. As a result they did very little to help relieve her of any discomfort other than to give her medication.

I made several attempts to try to hook her up to my MiniFG [frequency generator] to zap the bacteria that i knew must be on the rise within her body due to her condition. But I was very much under the watchful eyes of the nurses and other staff members. One time a nurse came in to change the bedding and found the wires strapped to her ankles. I told the nurse that it was a new age therapy to help her mind relax. She let it go and did not report it.

As much as I wanted to do things for her, I soon understood that I had to give it up though, because my mother had been poked and prodded so much by then, and having tubes down her throat to remove abdomenal fluid, she was very much fighting with everyone to stop doing things to her. She was very concerned and worried about being put on life support. She never, ever wanted this to happen to her. She began to not trust anyone, accept my middle sister that had medical power of attorney(MPA) for her.

After a week they discharged her and sent her to my sister's house. There she would be admitted into "home care" by a visiting nurse. After the nurse arrived and having found that my mother had not had a bowel movement or a urination in more than 24 hours, she said that she was unable to admit her into her care and she would have to go back to the hospital.

My sister was wise enough to ask the doctor in charge, prior to my mom's release, what he would suggest if my mother had to make a return visit? His suggestion was to find a "learning hospital" to take her to.

So this is what happened. We took her to University Hospital it is connected with the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. This hospital did more for her in two hours than the other hospital did for her in one week. They immediately tapped her abdomen and took out 4 liters of fluid.

Four days later they could not identify what was the cause of the blockage but felt it was cancer. They also said "realistically, she was in such a weakened state that it was felt that she would not be able to tolerate any kind of procedure or chemo." Basically there was nothing they could do for. They suggested that they could release her and have her go to my sisters house and it would maybe be two weeks before she would ultimately pass away in a more relaxed environment.

It was the way it was to be. My mother really wanted to leave. It was time for her. The quality of life had gone down for her considerably, causing her to be quite depressed, although she could still muster up a smile every time I came in her room to see her.

In the end it was a blessing for her to depart this world and leave all the discomfort that came with bed-ridden behind, the diaper rashes, being poked and prodded, having things done to her all the time, not being able to do anything for herself. It was time.

Be with your father. Try to be empathize, to understand what his needs are, and help him to be comfortable. Learn from the care takers on how to do things so you can do them when they are not around. Be sure to offer him plenty of water. Enjoy this time with him.
 

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