Supporting my child...

...is not that different from supporting any colored child. hehee! All children have color and Indigo seems a strong (sometimes difficult to match) aura color. Until now I had no idea the term 'Indigo Child' was being used by parents to explain the mis-fit of children in school. It makes sense, I suppose, now that I have read a bit more, - a loving parent who sees the exceptional quality of their child side by side with their failure to match up to the institution of education would certainly be attracted to a concept that points to a possible explanation for the performance gap.

My children, Loni almost 20 now and my son who died at 18, seemed to instinctively refuse to be institutionalized and I gave a quiet roar of "good for you!" each time they stood in the authenticity of their perspective. But I also gave words of caution and tried to help them fit comfortably enough to meet the requirements of the prevailing society, the law, the structure, etc. I suppose the words "Be in the world but not of it" rang out the loudest for me as their Mom. It seemed so clearly true and still does for Loni. So I took on the job of 'Distinctor' ~smiles!

As 'Distinctor' my mama job was to affirm they were not of it (the world, the school, etc) but that they must find their way of living and breathing in it. -a distinctor parent position can help a child to distinguish what is important and valuable for that child and that is no different from parenting any colored child. For example: Loni decided long ago that a grade was what they needed to fit her into their system of measure but grades did not measure much of anything that was important to her -she was about 11 years old I think. So she scores in the 99th percentile on aptitude test and often gets 100% on test but refuses to be the grade. In fact, she often simply decides to opt out of the whole trained monkey exercise and will not produce the evidence they want or need to prove she has learned... she has said "If they want to know what I have learned they should have a conversation with me" and while this unique defiance has often scared the piss out me (Yikes, what will happen if she does not conform?), I DECIDED to trust! both trusting her and the energy of love she lives in. She did not graduate high school but got a GED and she did not finish college nor has she found an adult, good paying job yet. But she is absolutely, authentically Loni - fully distinguished from the world she lives in, which is, for the most part, unimportant to her (things like media, fashion, traditional beliefs, politics, etc.) So...

My youngest son, 9 years old, has an IEP now in the 4th grade because he is inattentive in school. I do not care what that means to other people - I care that my son can now read and write which will be very helpful as he makes his way in the world. Helping my children distinguish their way in the world is my job, no matter what color they are.

Right?
Tweet