why does this happen?

during my really really really bad days,I get so frustrated.I 'give up',I say all this and that like I am going to quit working towards my goals,stop everything,lock myself up in my room and i just say all this horrible stuff like I am 'giving up'.
It feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GGOOOOOOOD when I do it though,as if all the weight has been lifted up from my shoulders and I can think clearly again..
because I just DON'T CARE ANYMORE..but in my heart and mind,I still do.
I still have thoughts and stuff about the future,like favorable situations,outcomes and things I want to happen though I do expect them to happen there is not so much pressure on them happening so it's more likely to happen on it's own type of deal..
get what I mean?? lol.

But when I actually TRY and put actual effort into accomplishing my goals and I feel like I want it SOO badly..too badly at times,things mess up,it doesn't turn out the way I want it to,I get soo anxious or unsure of myself and it just becomes a big flop and I get frustrated again..and 'quit',bah- I hate the world! -bah- I hate everyone -bah- i give up! and so the cycle begins again..with every quiting or hating session ,it's like the paths to my goals become more and more clear the day after and I can see little things I have been missing or not paying attention to and further thoughts of future opportunities and happenings take place.

My question is,which is the more dominant thought?
my goals or me 'giving up'? they seem to feed off one another and when one peaks,
the other is about to emerge and then it's like a role reversal..I don't get overconfident but more leveled then before then when I was frustrated.

my goals are always in my mind,work,school,girls,cars etc.
when in a good mood I tend to bite off more then I can chew and become overwhelmed,me 'giving up' seems to snap me back into reality,like 'this is now,this is what needs to be done if you ever want to get THERE'.


I think about my goals all the time and do a little each day in order to help reach it,but it seems like when I am mellowed out from 'quitting' them seem to be a little more realistic and capable of happening in 'real time' instead of just idle daydreaming or reaching too far into the skies.


Sometimes I can't tell the difference between which ones are really my goals I am capable of achieving and which are just stupid daydreaming BS which I should just get rid of,just to cleanse my thoughts and fill it with something a little more productive and pleasurable.



I have also read that your feelings are your guide if something is right or wrong.
Well,what about my feelings towards certain females I am horribly attracted to for one reason or another,it seems as if I have developed an almost instant resentment and anger towards them I can barely manage to look at them or acknowledge their presence.Is it me having a failure to acknowledge my feelings and I am merely projecting my anger onto them? because of my attraction or whatever to them? could it be that I may not be really attracted to them personally but reacting to how they are making me feel inside,thus becoming entangled and confused because of those feelings?
It feels like I am losing control at those times and something has come over me,like I am uncontrollable attraction or another to them..I feel bad because I feel like I 'want' them so badly lol,but I really don't.It's like my head and my heart is conflicted...really really bad. I don't actually 'want' to 'like' certain girls but it seems like I have no choice in the matter ,something comes over me and I get those feelings which leads to other feelings which leads me to becoming upset and flustered.

what's up with that???

( i have placed that last part in the relationship/womans forum as well as they may have some insight to share!)