Re: re: is it true ?

Well, I think it's a game. They appear to have empathy or compassion, but it's only to show others that they do care. It's all for display.

My ex was like this. He would show extreme compassion. Sometimes I think it was just because he thought it was appropriate to do so.

On the other hand, I'm not sure my ex was an NPD, but he was abusive, verbally and physically. I know he truly loved me (at one point) and he did seem to care very deeply about me for about 6 years. He was passive aggressive for those 6 years. He was what I would call rude and not considerate. He would tease me in front of other people, and that teasing was embarrassing.

I'm sure he cheated on me from the very beginning.

So, it could mean your man is not an NPD (which is a specific disorder)...there are many labels and names for abusers. There are many levels of abuse. My girlfriend right now has what I call "abuser light". He tells her he loves her and how beautiful she is everyday, he has never hit her...but he has a very low opinion of what she thinks, and is constantly telling her so. He hasn't had sex with her for 7 years. He is very disrespectful of her family, who she loves. He goes out of his way to be critical, and does so without anger...but it's a constant bombardment. Many times he makes it sound like a joke, but it's still the same message.

Once when I was visiting her he started that crap. Now she and I have been friends for 35 years. I turned on him, fairly strongly. It was not my place, I know, but I was so sick of this kind of behavior. My relationship with him since has been very strained. She is leaving him, by the way.

So, you could try to label your man, or you can call a spade a spade. If it smells like shit, then it probably is shit.

Only you know for sure.

Molly