Edited

I tried to do some very special shopping today. Online. And it seems that somehow my radar was jammed. So instead, I went to the Opera, started a new home page, traveled to Japan, read some stories, looked at some pictures, listened to some music, studied a new language, said some prayers, made some blessings, cracked some jokes, danced about, started a blog, and began yet another...book.

Last night I watched The Ultimate Gift. My heart nearly broke as I saw that I had missed a few. I had always hoped for a family. And I had missed my one perfect day. Perhaps I will find these gifts in my next life. I never realized how many times I have been so close to death. Like the heat of a plane full of people And alone, and with my mother dying in the room next to mine, my heart is shattered. Unable to move much. Barely breathing. Hurts. *tears*

Today is not only New Year's Day. Today is also a very special day for Oyasama. And she has spent it at the Jiba. Oyasama thanks you for the final service. May she sparkle brightly like diamonds in the sky. And may we all find our way to the joyous life.

I pray for my tanno.
Performing hinokishin.
May I forever be Yoboku.
With soft smile returned,
And gentle laughter,
And forgiveness,
And gratitude,
And peace,
And love,
And joy.
Amen.
(O
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