Some people believe they are in paradise, some people view money as a easy way of getting things they want, some don't fear for the future, because they trust in the process, of learning and unfolding. What you are feeling about life, may not be the permanent 'truth' of it. I'm sure there were times you felt more happy about it. Some people are deprssed and everythings black, other people feel stuck and are just getting by and everythings grey- Some people are in paradise on earth. It's up to you what you choose to focus on. Some people can have no money and be merry and happy all the time and be playful, and others can feel bleak 'I have no money, my life sucks'It's up to you. What does your heart say- read what you wrote and see how your heart responds to that view of life. Does it feel true to you?