Dream Affair and the Allure of the Other

Ok, I didn't REALLY have an affair, but every now and then I'll have a very realistic, vivid dream about some guy other than my husband that is so good it almost makes me feel guilty. Much of the time it's not even overtly sexual, it'll just hit me over the head with those intense feelings of lust and longing that normally are a distant memory. (I picked a great guy, and I wouldn't trade my soul mate for anything, he's very dear to me, but after 10 years I have to admit even in the early stages of the relationship, the sex was not as passionate as I preferred.)

I actually don't normally fantasize about anyone else, I kinda don't want to let my head go thre, but I can't help it if it's a dream! LOL! Last night the leading man was Jake Gyllenhaal (I actually had to google him to spell it - LOL!). Is it me, or is that guy REALLY hot? I figure he was the lead since he's all over the TV lately promoting a new movie. So in the dream he wasn't this famous actor, he was some long lost close friend of my husband's who was in town for a visit, and though I'd never met him, when my husband left the room, he gave me this big, long, tender hug with a little intimate stroking in a way that wasn't exactly sexual, but suggestive and the type that leads to something sexual. And I was thinking, oh my god, he smells amazing, he's different and unfamiliar in a really exciting way, I'm totally on fire, I'm afraid my husband is going to see this, but I don't want to let go...and that was literally the gist of the dream.

Actually, my H woke me up when I was in the middle of it, and I was a little bummed out! I laid there for another half hour trying to replay it and remember that whole body excitement of being in really close, intimate proximity to somebody who's new, someone you've never even kissed, all that butning desire before anything actually happens.

Those of you in committed relationships, do you guys miss that? I would never cheat, for a million reasons, only one of which is that I respect my husband too much, but gaaawwddd.... sometimes the knowledge that I'll likely never feel that level of anticipation again that you can only get with a brand new lover is a little depressing, when I think about it, and I can see why people go down that road. (I'm also sure my husband has privately had the same feelings, but he's also very loyal and pretty spiritually focused, so you know, neither one of us is insecure anymore about fidelity and the longevity of this thing.)

Gotta say, I wish I could call up those intense dreams at will when I need a little pick-me-up! I sometimes try to phsych myself up to see my own guy in a new way, break up the usual routines, but it's tough with him. I don't think he's really into changing things up, and I don't know how to approach him (after 10 years of him thinking I'm totally satisfied, sexually), that I'd like a little more spontaneity and psssion. It'd be kinda like asking him to be someone he's not, but maybe we're entering a stage where we need to make more of an effort and be open to change...though the last time I hinted at a certain personal naughty turn-on, he seemed a bit put off, so I haven't picked up the topic since. The other thing is he's in good shape physically, but there is a 9 year age difference that might be becoming an issue already, or will be soon.

Just distracted with the feelings this dream brought up today, I guess...